How I won the war in Afghanistan

No one has ever won a military war in Afghanistan.  That’s the truth.  So, I have a plan that I think would accomplish our goal which, I assume, is to make Afghanistan safe from the Taliban and, therefore, the development of terrorists who might potentially decide to attack other countries.

The Afghan plan we are currently executing is a military plan which, originally, was supposed to result in the capture of Osama Bin Laden and the obliteration of the Taliban. Another reason for being there, and in Iraq, was, in the words of Bush, to take the battle over there so they will be too busy fighting each other to plan any future 9-11’s.

In some ways it has worked, at least in taking the war to them; however, for me this is immoral because it means that lots of innocent non-American people get killed in exchange for the safely of innocent American lives.  I find that immoral in that it says that American lives are worth more than Afghan or Iraqi lives.  That’s simply not true; a life is a life is a life.

I recently heard a caller on the Rush Limbaugh Show. He was in the military and had been to Afghanistan on four tours.  He said the difference between Iraq and Afghanistan is that Iraq is not a third world country; it was, and is, a developed nation. On the other hand, Afghanistan is a third world country. He felt, therefore, that if we withdrew from Afghanistan the people would not be prepared to defend themselves from another Taliban takeover.

So, my plan is to use a combination of capitalism and the military to make life better for the Afghan people so that they have the wherewithal to defend themselves. 

Ok, here’s my plan.  Send over McDonald’s, Coca Cola, and Walmart.  Build some hamburger joints, a Coca Cola bottling plant, and a Walmart (ok, make it a Target if that feels better).  Hire the locals, give them some money.  Pretty soon you have people with the means to eat out, drink out, and buy “stuff”, just like people here.

 
I just got a construction job building the new Walmart!

The role of the military is to secure the McDonald’s, Coke plant, and Walmart until things get rolling and the people are able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

Hey, I don’t even eat fast food or drink soda but those are the things people in third world countries desire; they want to be like us.  So, to hell with Michael Moore and The One who have already made their millions and now want to keep everyone else poor; let these folks have a chance for a different life.

Kids want Burgers not Bombs!

A few years ago I went to Kauai, Hawaii for a vacation. They were just in the process of getting their first Walmart.  It was a huge controversy.  I talked to a local guy who said, “hey, we want to be able to buy ‘stuff’ just like everyone else.” 

Well, so do the people in third world countries.  They want to be able to go buy “stuff” at a Walmart; I don’t think they care if it is politically correct in the USA. 

They can still retain their culture and their religion; even Muslims can shop and sheepherders can drink Coke without changing their beliefs. And, if they object to hamburgers and Coke, they could start up their own franchises selling food like sheer yakh (Afghan ice cream…sounds good) and dogh (yoghurt drink).

 
I prefer “stuff” to bombs

I always thought that the Cuban embargo was really stupid.  Same deal there; send in McDonald’s and Coke, give people jobs, and watch them prosper.  I met a young guy from Cuba recently and he agreed; he said, yeah, they all have someplace to live down there, but the places are all disintegrating and no one has any money.  Just like Kauai, they would all like to be able to buy “stuff”, too.

I think it is really elitist for all of these Hollywood millionaires to want to impose socialism on the rest of the world; so, are they the only ones allowed to be rich?

I know this all sounds pretty weird, but don’t you agree that encouraging people to enjoy the “stuff” of life is a lot better than dropping bombs on them?

Now if I can only get someone to listen to me.

 

 

Comments

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Questions about the cold war, Afghanistan especially?
I just watched Charlie Wilsons war, and I am too young and German so the cold war is something I don't quite understand yet. How is it that it was dangerous that the Soviets were trying to get into Afghanistan? I understand that it was strategically important for the Soviets because of Afghanistan's geography but would countries like Israel not be strong enough to defend the Soviets? What plans did the Soviets have once in Afghanistan?

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Now that 0bama is running the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq and liberals are suddenly on the band-wagon?

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Rather strange, yes. Where are all of the anti-war protestors? It seems they were not really anti-war but, rather, anti-Bush.